Funniest online dating profiles ever


12-Mar-2016 05:20

I plan to become a fantastic dancer for the next time I find myself on an exotic island one night at a Tiki bar somewhere. They gave me a hard time for dropping out of school… We help non-computer nerds with their online businesses. My personal theory on music, is that it is just pure, emotional communication, have you ever listened to a song in another language but still understood on an emotional level, what the song was trying to express? To better understand the importance of combining contrasting qualities check out the dating username guide by clicking here.

It is my dream job, no schedule, no boss and 96.5% free time. I was taught Reiki in Romania, where I lived for two years. Sometimes when I walk by a brick building I will stop and fondle the wall, it reminds me of rock, I have a subconscious urge to climb it… Music can bring emotions out in us and bring us back to emotions that we felt in the past… But now: Here ye, Here ye Knights in Shining Armor, there is something I must inform you about this profile…it is I crave what the poet Richard Siken wrote in “Crush.” But I understand that love is sometimes more like “you fit into me” by Margaret Atwood.

It’s like summer camp for makin’ movies, so I’m happy about it. I like public transportation and wandering around cities. Most of the time, I don’t take myself very seriously. Or if you just want to give me something valuable, like eternal wisdom, a free ticket to Paris, or a house.

I am a graduate of Colorado State University, where I double-majored in English and Journalism. This guy comes off as a solid, down-to-earth, sweet gent with a great sense of humor.

One reason is because their profile reads like a boring, dating profile shaped turd. I thought I would throw some keywords that would describe what I like to do.

so let’s start: I’d like first to apologize for the typos I might have… nobody’s perfect) and I’m pretty much new in this country (I’ve been around for 2 years).

Avoided being bitten by vampires, but yes, they do have them there. if your a climber you will know what I mean, and if not… it’s a talent that I wish I had, and emotions are really the most addictive chemicals. I believe in the law of attraction, weird random events that seem to unlikely to be merely coincidence happen more frequently then they should. James Bond is my mentor and The Most Interesting Man in the World is my life coach. Recently my best friend paid me this compliment: “you navigate seamlessly between fun and serious, sensual and sexual, romantic and raunchy”.

I’ll take you climbing a few times and you will be doing it too. I spent a number of years in my early 20’s road tripping and meditating. You can get a grasp of what I’m like from my friends prospective from this quote, and the “raunchy” part I hope is more about my sense of humor. Six things I could never do without: I used to say the ocean/beach, but I’ve since learned that I would give up the beach for some daily spooning. If everyone Wang Chungs tonight, what would tomorrow be like?

Paramount is such a “girly appreciated” word—let me translate to manglish: This guy is making a HUGE mistake in his profile: “Attraction Killer” Red Flag #4… Discover YOUR #1 dating profile “attraction killer” & how to fix it… Have you ever seen it in a movie when a hot actor has to reveal his naked ass? Oh, and I’m in the fitness biz, as well as back in school finishing up my pre-med reqs. You should message me if you are: Sexy, smart, fit and fun. We like to feel protected by a strong man that will bring home the bacon and make sure we don’t get eaten by dinosaurs. I do have a bone to pick with his profile, well a few bones. From all of the other profiles listed, this guy was a “regular Joe” with average looks, but his sense of confidence in what he knew he was looking for in a gal; along with the great many adventures he had been on, gave him a “knight-in-shinning-armor-returning-from-slaying-a-dragon” appeal. YESSSS, you know what I am about to fill you in on. This guy has a zest for life and is all about positive energy, so much so, that when you read his profile, it puts you in a good mood. From all the profiles listed here, this guy was the one with the supermodel looks but his profile reads like someone that isn’t aware of how good looking he is.

I think that thought has an energy which impacts manifest reality and shapes it in very specific ways. Analytical, kinesthetic thinker The spotlight is not my friend. (the hugging kind) I spend a lot of time thinking about: What if the Hokey Pokey is what it’s all about? Or the great debate of green vs red Tabasco, do you want the heat or the flavor? He has just the right amount of “laid back” demeanor as he does “go-go-go” attitude.

Most women like the notion of being grabbed hard and kissed soft, and this fellow looks like he can get the job done.

If you don’t keep on reading, I swear I won’t be upset with you.

I will never know anyway 🙂 Travel, surprises, music, dancing, sports, books, last minute plans, open mind, photography, museum, craziness, spontaneity, going out (but also staying in), sharing, simplicity, respect, flip flops (yes, the sandals), down to earth (however fantasy is also very important), people, casual, word, news, work, sense of humor about yourself, awareness.

The French are known for being snooty, and yet this guy takes that into consideration and pokes fun at it.