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10-Dec-2016 19:18

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Putting it simply, good things happen to people sometimes just by luck alone, without much effort, but not often. Is it likely that the first house you look at will turn out to be the house of your dreams? More likely you will have to look at fifteen or twenty houses before you decide to buy one.

If you look at one house every week or so, this process can take a long time.

But most sensible people think it is a bad idea to marry young.

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They have never been jilted or disappointed over and over again by meeting one unsatisfactory person after another.Mammals and birds, and other animals have to win the attention of a possible mate. They make the following objections, which I have described in a previous post and in a somewhat different context: Meeting strangers is potentially dangerous. Meeting people through the agency of these dating sites is no more or less dangerous than meeting them any other way.In prehistoric times, individuals probably had to choose from only a half-dozen or so potential partners. An argument for internet dating: We have now, in the time of the internet, an inestimably huge number of potential mates, or to put it in the current vernacular, dates. Presenting oneself publicly as wishing to meet someone suggests, in the minds of some people, that such a person is driven to dating this way because he/she is unsuccessful dating in a more conventional way. Patients whom I have known who date successfully are largely inclined to date people they meet in all sorts of places, church, work, parties, and so on—It is important to realize and accept that any single dating opportunity is not likely to result in a long-term relationship, SO YOU MUST NOT BECOME DISCOURAGED BECAUSE OF REPEATED FAILURES.Still, this arrangement worked out well enough for us to have showed up very many generations later. If the first half-dozen first dates are unsuccessful, it does not mean that you are unappealing or that you are too picky.

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Unless you are extraordinarily lucky, the first ten or twenty people you meet—or thirty or forty—are not likely to constitute a good fit to you.

But even then there must have been some choice involved.